Day 13

Wow, I've been really sucking at this blog lists challenge. It's probably already been 25 days and I'm on day 13. Today's list is 10 things I look for in a romantic partner. Hmm....Do I want to think about that? No. Not at all, actually.

The way I look at it is, I'm going to live my life the way I want to live it. Make myself happy, and if a happy accident occurs, and I meet someone worth it, then I will make time for it. But only if it's worth my time. Only if it's really wonderful. I don't have the energy for games and all of that bullcrap. I'm over it and anyway, it's not even worth it. Yes, friends, I have turned into a disenchanted callous bitch. However, I would rather be that than anyone's fool. So, in the spirit of negativity, perhaps I will list 10 things that I DONT want in a romantic partner. Aye?

1.) Emotional baggage, mommy issues, and such like that needs a team of therapists, a lifetime subscription to prozac, the pope, jesus, buddha, the dalai lama, ghandi, and harry krishana to get rid of.

2.) Free spirits are awesome and attractive and all of that, however, there is a difference between a free spirit and a free LOADER. I want someone who knows that difference.

3.) To quote the scandalous Britney Spears, "Womanizer. Womanizer. Boy don't try to front, I (I) kn know just what you a ah are." Yah, preferably not one of those. We all go through phases in life, but if you are in your 30's and still don't know what you want or have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old boy, we might have a problem.

4.) Someone balanced. Balanced meaning they have read something besides the Guns and Ammo magazine and the Playboy editorials but can still screw in a lightbulb and change their oil, if need be. Also, someone who can have a real conversation about more than just T and A, computer games, and cars but is not such a pompous ass that they demean me if I haven't made time to read applied mathematics.

5.) I actually WANT someone sexual. That's right. I want passionate sex. I said it. We are all sexual beings. However, I don't want someone SO sexual that they put Ron Jeremy to shame. But it would be nice if my man actually expressed interest in my bosoms because yes, it is an important part of a relationship. On that note, if ya don't have the "goods" get out my grocery sto.

6.) No liars. If I have to hook you up to a polygraph every time you talk to me, we have a serious problem. If I could go back and erase all of the time I have spent trying to figure out lies or chasing rainbows that don't exist or driving myself bonkers being paranoid about suspicious behaviors, I would be adding a lot of time to my existance. Just tell the truth. Even if you think it's not what I want to hear. I'm a big girl. I can handle it.

7.) I want someone who knows the difference between we're friends and we're lovers. Those are two very different states in a relationship. Don't think I am going to sleep with you just because I am being nice to you. I am just a courteous kind of girl, okay? I like people. Or if we're exclusive but you have yet to tell your friends that we are after two months, stop wasting my time.

8.) I hate to say this, because I do enjoying creating things myself, however, experience has taught me to stay away from artists/musicians/and pot dealers. I'm not looking for an MBA, but I am looking for something better. Something real that is meaningful and I can sink my teeth into. If you still play drums in a horrible band, live in your mom's basement, and are working at McDonalds, no I don't want your digits.

9.) I want someone who likes to experience new things and go to new places. There is nothing wrong with loving your home and appreciating your roots, but if you don't ever go outside of your home except to go to work, go to the store, and play in your bad garage band....that's just not my style.

10.) Possession is 9/10 of the law, HOWEVER, I'm not a law, I'm a woman. You aint my pimp, my daddy, or my pimp daddy and I can do as I damn well please. If I say that I'm with you, I want you, and that I will be faithful to you, these are all true. But if I want to go out with my friends, play a show, or go on an adventure--don't assume I'm having with sex with anyone or everyone but YOU. And don't feel the need to call me fifty times while I'm out with my girls.