Thoughts on love

Has there ever been a person in your life that you adored, that you loved completely and totally, that you knew with the vision in your heart was the one that belonged with you? This person was the one who you burned for, who inspired you, who kept you awake in the night with visions of their face. Have you ever felt a love so deeply that it stripped away every facade and false pretense and cut straight through you? A love so intense that it opened you up made you cry all the tears you could stand? A love so true that the joy you feel in their presence made you smile with all of the sunlight in your heart?

I have felt this kind of love and if you have, you immediately will understand what I mean. If not, you may take in the words and appreciate them, but you will never understand unless you experience it.

The love that I felt for this person made me feel so vulnerable, not weak, just so incredibly bare like an open palm. It's both horrible and lovely at the same time. It's so disarming and so scary. You don't have control over yourself, the walls that you have spent your entire life building to protect yourself, fall in this person's presence. It's just this one person, who really is no different than any other person. But for some reason this person said hello one day or smiled at you and you could feel yourself spiraling. You try to catch your breath, to stand your ground, to keep yourself from losing control, but the moment they kiss you or speak your name--it's involuntary.
Love cannot be possessed. It is a mystery and a precious gift. All you can do is hold it when it's near and kiss it when you feel it inside. You cannot change it or stop it either. It moves with it's subtle, strong force. It takes no regard for time, circumstances, situations, heartaches, ambitions, or fears. It shows up and it blasts through you.

The worst thing ever is when you feel this kind of love and yet you know that you cannot be with this person. For whatever reason you know that it's the wrong time. It's the worst hell you can feel knowing that love is requited and yet because of differences or distance or ambitions, it cannot burn. Yet it burns anyway and you cannot make it stop no matter how much you want to and how much you try not to care. Heartbreak I am convinced is the deepest sadness there is.