Okay, not really. I just like to rhyme. Not to say that it's "bad" up here, it has a beauty of it's own and I will never forget it. I've written some pretty decent songs up here, learned how much I love pastels, made a really close friend and have met MANY amazing people from all over the world. Not to mention saw things that I am sure I will never see again.
A friend of mine said that this place makes you more "you". Kind of like infusion. I agree with this in part. It certainly has tested my metal and made me realize my own silliness, my own strengths and flaws, and what I truly want in life.
My own father's nick name for me is "gypsy". I agree that I do have a tendency to ramble. But this nickname also bothers me to an extent. I love adventure and travel but I don't want to be a vagabond forever. 30 is creeping up quickly and I need to lay down some roots somewhere. I need a home base and quite honestly, there has never been a place where I felt that. I want to carve out something of my own. What good are all these songs I'm writing if I am not sharing them with anyone? I must say. I MISS PERFORMING. Bad.
That being said, I am pretty much ready to get back into civilization. I'm already feeling slightly awkward and bushy. The thought of loan sharks, cops, taxes, parking meters, crazy folks with a pension for crime...it is kind of overwhelming. I'm free of all of those things here in my safe little bubble.
I've realized some things lately. For instance, a little solitude is good--too much of it is bad. At least for me. I miss my friends and family to pieces and some days that can get me pretty down. I realized it's not always where you're at, but who you're with. When I get back, I am going to dig my heals in.
I had three goals coming up here: Experience the arctic, clear my head of bullshit, and save a little bit of money. By the time I leave in October, I will have accomplished all of those goals which makes me feel pretty darn good. I have devoured all 686 songs on my ipod. (it's an older model) and now I am lusting for some new stuff. Anyone who wants to send me some burned cd's, I will be very grateful.
The grass is already turning fall colors and I can feel winter peeking it's head around the corner already. This means less walks for me, which makes me a little sad. Any book recommendations? Thankfully it looks like we will be very busy. So I will work work work for 51 more days, then this world worn gal is coming home. Be ready for me!
Love,
Steph.
A couple people asked about my music. Here is a link where you can listen. (Keep in mind, most of these songs are older and/or works in progress)
http://www.myspace.com/stephieyeager
Bordeaux Day 5 – I got stung by a bee
12 years ago
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